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"How to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment―The Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life" by Sophie Hannah is a unique self-help book that redefines the concept of grudges from something negative to a potentially positive and empowering force. Hannah argues that holding grudges is a universal but misunderstood experience that, when embraced wisely, can lead to greater self-awareness, boundaries, forgiveness, and personal happiness.
The book categorizes different types of grudges (over 30 categories) and grades them by their impact and intention. It encourages readers to acknowledge their grudges instead of denying or suppressing them, as they serve as emotional "bookmarks" that mark important personal boundaries, lessons, and values. Hannah suggests that grudges can foster self-protection by helping individuals stay vigilant and avoid repeated harm, and ultimately help people become more forgiving by facing unresolved feelings honestly.
Practical advice includes understanding when to hold or release grudges, managing toxic grudges, and reflecting on the grudges one may provoke in others. The tone is compassionate, funny, and practical, challenging the typical view that grudges only bring negativity. The book emphasizes that grudges are part of the emotional process that can lead to healing and contentment.
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