His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr.

His Needs, Her Needs examines the emotional dynamics that define long-lasting marriages. Harley identifies the most essential emotional needs for men and women — sexual fulfillment, affection, admiration, conversation, recreational companionship, honesty, and financial support — and illustrates how unmet needs create emotional voids that can lead to resentment and infidelity.

Through real-life counseling examples, Harley shows how couples often unknowingly sabotage intimacy by expecting their partner to instinctively fulfill needs, rather than communicating them clearly. The book explains the subtle dynamics of “love busters” — behaviors such as criticism, emotional withdrawal, and passive-aggressiveness — which erode trust even in otherwise loving relationships.

The text is deeply practical. Harley provides exercises to identify and prioritize emotional needs, set healthy boundaries, and navigate conflicts constructively. He emphasizes that successful marriages require deliberate effort, communication, and awareness of the other person’s vulnerabilities and desires.

This book’s value lies in its frank acknowledgment of human complexity. It doesn’t moralize, blame, or shame; it equips readers to act responsibly and intentionally, reinforcing that love is active, not passive. By addressing core emotional needs, His Needs, Her Needs empowers couples to transform complacency or resentment into appreciation, connection, and enduring intimacy.