Jumia Books 50 Memos To Men - By Silas Nyanchwani

Focus on Your Goals or Hobby

The reason most men are caught in the whirlpool of their wives’ emotions, is because they are idle. Every man must be busy. Every man must stay on his purpose. As we have said repeatedly, a woman should be a complement to your life, not the focus. She must never be your priority. If she can’t handle her problems on her own, neither should you try to intervene beyond what is reasonable. We waste so much time trying to figure out what women are battling, yet the demons are theirs and theirs alone, to battle. Some of the shitstorms they go through, they put themselves in them. Don’t try to rescue her.

Focus. If you are not employed, or tired with work, go for your hobby. As a man always have a hobby. Cycling, walking, playing in door games; table tennis, videos games, anything that keeps you occupied the moments when she is having her episodes.

Desist From Parenting Your Wife

Typically, as a man of the house, you are not only the husband, but also the father of both your wife and children. It is OK to offer any kind of counsel, wisedom, and protection, but you only do this when there is cooperation from her end. If there is no cooperation, then resist the urge to police, parent or control her. It is pointless, man.

There is an urge to try and be in charge, and this can drain you. Some women are always determined to undermine your authority, and this can drive you to the edge. Sometimes the silent treatment and emotional withdrawal is her being childish. Whereas this needs parental intervention, you are better off leaving her to fix her issues.

She is an adult capable of making sound decisions. Don’t entertain her cold treatment. Show her you have options in life. You can eat elsewhere, you can have other female company, you can live without her.

There is a Thin Line Between Hypergamy and Co-dependency

The worst tragedy that can befall a man is to marry a woman that depends on him for everything. Literally. There are women who have so many emotional and financial problems, only God can help them. And cursed is the man who has to shoulder all of them. Usually, women marry upwards, and that can take care of their financial neediness. But what happens if she has a myriad of emotional problems, the so-called damsel-in-distress?

As men, we feel good when we rescue women from themselves. But, man, have you ever dealt with a woman who has emotional issues from here to New Zealand? Money problems can be solved with money, but emotional problems can be draining since they are unending.