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HomeBooks, Movies and MusicMotivational & Self-HelpSilent Agreements: How to Free Your Relationships of Unspoken Expectations Book by Linda D. Anderson, PhD, Michele L. Owens, PhD, and Sonia R. Banks, PhD
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Silent Agreements: How to Free Your Relationships of Unspoken Expectations
By Linda D. Anderson, PhD, Michele L. Owens, PhD, and Sonia R. Banks, PhD
Overview
Silent Agreements explores the hidden, unspoken rules and assumptions that shape our relationships—whether romantic, familial, or professional. Clinical psychologists Linda D. Anderson, Sonia R. Banks, and Michele L. Owens use the term "silent agreements" for these implicit understandings, showing how they quietly influence feelings, behaviors, and satisfaction. When left unaddressed, silent agreements often lead to misunderstanding, disappointment, or even long-term resentment.
Key Concepts
Definition
Silent agreements are unspoken beliefs about how relationships should function, developed through early experiences, family dynamics, or cultural messages.
Examples include beliefs like "whoever makes more money should always pay for dates" or "my partner should sense when I need support without me asking."
How They Form
Stem from upbringing, past relationship experiences, and societal cues.
Stay below the surface unless intentionally identified and discussed.
Impact
Unspoken, conflicting expectations cause frustration, unmet needs, or repeated conflicts, since the other party may be unaware or hold different assumptions.
What the Book Offers
Recognition:
Tools to help readers detect silent agreements shaping their relationships.
Exploration:
Exercises and frameworks to examine the origins and motivations behind these beliefs.
Practical Guidance:
Step-by-step techniques to bring silent agreements into the open, especially in sensitive areas like sex, money, power, or emotional support.
Communication Skills:
Strategies for discussing expectations directly, fostering transparency and empathy.
Dismantling Harmful Beliefs:
Guidance on breaking free from outdated or damaging expectations, making way for healthier, more honest connections.
Example Silent Agreements
| Situation | Silent Agreement Example |
|---|---|
| Dating | "Whoever makes more pays for the dates." |
| Marriage | "My spouse should just know when I’m upset." |
| Workplace | "My boss knows I want a raise, so I won’t ask." |
| Family | "I owe my parents unwavering support, no matter what." |
Why Read This Book?
For All Relationships:
Whether you're struggling in marriage, with friends, at work, or with family, this guide illuminates how hidden assumptions undermine connection.
Actionable Tools:
Provides practical exercises and conversational tools to help transform unspoken, sabotaging expectations into conscious agreements and healthier dynamics.
Wide Applicability:
Approaches apply to every relationship context, empowering readers to address chronic misunderstandings and improve satisfaction.
Praise
Silent Agreements has been described as a “timely and valued contribution” for shining a light on the unseen barriers to fulfilling relationships and equipping readers to craft more honest, open connections.
In summary, Silent Agreements offers a clear, actionable path for identifying, discussing, and resolving the hidden expectations that often disrupt our relationships—enabling greater happiness, understanding, and trust.
Specifications
Key Features
Silent Agreements: How to Free Your Relationships of Unspoken Expectations
By Linda D. Anderson, PhD, Michele L. Owens, PhD, and Sonia R. Banks, PhD
Overview
Silent Agreements explores the hidden, unspoken rules and assumptions that shape our relationships—whether romantic, familial, or professional. Clinical psychologists Linda D. Anderson, Sonia R. Banks, and Michele L. Owens use the term "silent agreements" for these implicit understandings, showing how they quietly influence feelings, behaviors, and satisfaction. When left unaddressed, silent agreements often lead to misunderstanding, disappointment, or even long-term resentment.
Key Concepts
Definition
Silent agreements are unspoken beliefs about how relationships should function, developed through early experiences, family dynamics, or cultural messages.
Examples include beliefs like "whoever makes more money should always pay for dates" or "my partner should sense when I need support without me asking."
How They Form
Stem from upbringing, past relationship experiences, and societal cues.
Stay below the surface unless intentionally identified and discussed.
Impact
Unspoken, conflicting expectations cause frustration, unmet needs, or repeated conflicts, since the other party may be unaware or hold different assumptions.
What the Book Offers
Recognition:
Tools to help readers detect silent agreements shaping their relationships.
Exploration:
Exercises and frameworks to examine the origins and motivations behind these beliefs.
Practical Guidance:
Step-by-step techniques to bring silent agreements into the open, especially in sensitive areas like sex, money, power, or emotional support.
Communication Skills:
Strategies for discussing expectations directly, fostering transparency and empathy.
Dismantling Harmful Beliefs:
Guidance on breaking free from outdated or damaging expectations, making way for healthier, more honest connections.
Example Silent Agreements
| Situation | Silent Agreement Example |
|---|---|
| Dating | "Whoever makes more pays for the dates." |
| Marriage | "My spouse should just know when I’m upset." |
| Workplace | "My boss knows I want a raise, so I won’t ask." |
| Family | "I owe my parents unwavering support, no matter what." |
Why Read This Book?
For All Relationships:
Whether you're struggling in marriage, with friends, at work, or with family, this guide illuminates how hidden assumptions undermine connection.
Actionable Tools:
Provides practical exercises and conversational tools to help transform unspoken, sabotaging expectations into conscious agreements and healthier dynamics.
Wide Applicability:
Approaches apply to every relationship context, empowering readers to address chronic misunderstandings and improve satisfaction.
Praise
Silent Agreements has been described as a “timely and valued contribution” for shining a light on the unseen barriers to fulfilling relationships and equipping readers to craft more honest, open connections.
In summary, Silent Agreements offers a clear, actionable path for identifying, discussing, and resolving the hidden expectations that often disrupt our relationships—enabling greater happiness, understanding, and trust.
What’s in the box
1 BOOK
Specifications
- SKU: JU506BM68TO6YNAFAMZ
- GTIN Barcode: 09798280257382
- Weight (kg): 2
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Jumia Books Silent Agreements: How to Free Your Relationships of Unspoken Expectations Book by Linda D. Anderson, PhD, Michele L. Owens, PhD, and Sonia R. Banks, PhD
KSh 1,234
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