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Tom Gayner, CEO of Markel Group, once told a story about having lunch with his daughter, a public-defense lawyer. Asked about a recent case, Gayner's daughter described a man who walked into a restaurant, ordered a meal, ate it, then tried to pay with literal Monopoly money.
"Was the guy stupid or a jerk or trying to play a joke?" Gayner asked.
"Daddy, he was poor and he was hungry," she said. "My clients are Zen masters of the right-now. There is no past. There is no future. He was hungry."
It's a radical example, but all of us-you, me, everyone-lives some version of it. There are so many instances-among rich and poor people alike-highlighting the idea that your values are equal to your preferences, and your preferences come from trying to reconcile your current needs with the lessons learned from your unique past experiences.
Which brings me to two pieces of advice, both critical to understanding the art of spending money:
1. Don't let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn't spend money on. There is no "right" way. You have to figure out what makes you happy and fulfilled (more on that later).
"Personal finance is more personal than it is finance," says financial advisor Tim Maurer. It's one of the smartest money quotes I've ever heard.
A lot of money problems come from people spending or saving money in a way they think they're supposed to but that doesn't match their personality. They look for a one-size-fits-all answer to a problem that's deeply personal. It's like going through life forcing yourself to be someone you're not.
Most people understand if you like Italian food but my favorite is Mexican food, neither of us is right or wrong; it's just preference.
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