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The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships by Patrick Carnes PhD explores the powerful psychological grip that exploitative and abusive relationships have on victims through trauma bonds. These betrayal bonds are strong, unhealthy emotional attachments formed between victims and their abusers, often reinforced by cycles of kindness and cruelty, creating emotional addiction. Carnes explains that these bonds typically form as survival mechanisms in abusive or manipulative situations such as toxic relationships, cults, or abusive workplaces.
Key points from the book include:
Victims often feel loyalty to and make excuses for their abusers despite the harm caused.
Betrayal bonds are reinforced by intermittent reinforcement, childhood trauma, fear, dependency, and societal conditioning that glorifies enduring pain in relationships.
Breaking free requires understanding why these bonds form, recognizing the abuse, setting boundaries, and seeking support.
Healing involves rebuilding self-worth and learning to avoid toxic relationships in the future.
Carnes' book is a guide for survivors to understand why they get trapped in these destructive emotional attachments and offers clear guidance on how to break free and heal for a healthier life.
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